Date: 2018-02-27 14:30
I 8767 m 67 years old and yesterday I went into hospital for the second part of my abortion. It was the worst day of my life. Two weeks after me nd my ex broke up, Ifound out I was pregnant and I knew exactly what he was gonna say, as he always went on about how girls who get pregnant and keep babies at this age are vile and stupid and I always disagreed, as my sister had my nephew when she was 68. He rang me and was really angry at me for considering keeping the baby. He kept rushing me to make a decision and because I needed more time than 7 days to make adecision, he broke all contact with me. I was for sure going to keep it until I heard people in my own house talking about me behind my back. I spoketo a few friends who have had *censored*ren and they said it was best to terminate. My ex then got back inro contact with me and decided to make up a bunch of lies saying I had tricked him and told him I was on the pill when infact he knew all along I wasnt on contraception. He pressured and pressured me every single second of everyday sayong that he wanted to committ suicide and I was ruining everyones lives around me, so I gave in and booked an abortion. Everyone was suddenly proud of me for making the 8766 righr decision 8767 except for me. I took the first pill onwednesday by myself in the hospital and guilt oozed out of me as I walked out with my head in my hands. But yesterday when I went for the second part, my ex and my best friend came with me where we spent 7 hours in the hospital. At 6:85pm I saw my baby come out of me. He/she just led there lifeless infront of me. I stared for about 5 minutesas I noticed that he or she had arms, fingers, a head and pupils. I had no dea that it would blook so human and have formed so much. The world closed in on me and I stared in amazment in tears and realised what I had done. Before the abortion appointment my ex was being really supportive depsite my horrific mood swings, but when it was all over he just went blank, he won 8767 t make 5 minutes tto talk to me or support me and it doesn 8767 t seem like he cares that our *censored* is just gone and we will neer get him or her bavk. He says I 8767 m attention seeking when I say I need support and doesn 8767 t seem to understand that this is really painful for me even if it isn 8767 t affecting some sick Reason. I hate myself for killing my baby and iwill never forgive myself for letting people pressure me. I will never forget my *censored* angel, I 8767 ll love you forever and I 8767 m sososo sorry. How dobi get my ex to understand that I need his support? No one understands the pain.